Looking back at 2012, I’d say it was one of the best years of my life. The real highlight was my being a mom and experiencing all these warm, beautiful emotions with my first child. I knew a kid would bring me joy but I underestimated the scale of it. Technically, I became a mom in 2011 as Lil T was born in August of that year. Some people fall in love right away upon seeing their newborn. With me it was a slow and growing process of breastfeeding, bonding, playing, hearing his first words and having him say “ay-lab-bu” (I love you). I must admit that the first few months with my little one were trying on me physically and emotionally.
I gave birth to our first child alone in a hospital room in a foreign land. I actually brought my laboring self to the hospital via taxi cab. I was in huge pain and when I got checked in, I was already 8cm! I remember sobbing and wailing and begging God to take away my pain. He sent me an angel in the form of a nurse who held my hand and coached me through childbirth. (Since then, I have begun to greatly appreciate all nurses) I believe I had the best doctors but my protective nurse, a veteran at childbirth I learned, would bark at my doctors when she thought there was a better way to do things.
It was just Lil T and I at the hospital but for 3 days but all these loving nurses surrounded us. I think they were concerned I was a candidate for postpartum depression. You see you can plan but there are just things beyond our control. Lil T and I went home and my husband arrived after a week so for the first few days I single handedly took care of myself, cleansed my wounds, breastfed and bottle fed every 2 hours, washed bottles, clothes, changed diapers, cleaned my baby.. I really believe all women are superheroes! And no, I didn’t get postpartum. I was sleeping about 2 hours a night, there was just no time to cry.
My hubby stayed with us for 3 weeks but had to leave as work in another country called for him. I was a single parent for the first 6 months of our baby’s life. But thankfully our families came into the picture visiting and offering support after my husband left. (I salute all single mothers all over the world! You rock more than anyone!)
I loved Lil T to bits as any mother would but it was in 2012 that I got to really enjoy him. Lil T had longer sleep, he was more interactive, I was getting to understand him and best of all, come April, my hubby was present to enjoy this new phase in our lives. And well, by this time, I already had hired help
It was also in 2012 that we flew to Dubai to spend a few of our years here. Though very much different from home, we welcome this experience as an opportunity for our young family to explore a whole new world.
We can never know what is in store for us in 2013. I notice my son’s hands getting bigger and him looking less like a baby and already a child. Before the year ends, he will be two. It will go by so fast. I have made some plans for myself (let’s see if they push through). But my priority is to enjoy him, care for my family, and live in the moment, with bits of travelling in between.
To the most beautiful person I know, my late grandmother, whose birthday is today, thank you for nurturing me and loving me without condition.